fanda2010

Monday, May 7, 2012

Posted by FandA2010 at 3:54 PM
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View from Our Ship

View from Our Ship

Scaffolding Outside Gucci Store

Scaffolding Outside Gucci Store

Garment District

Garment District

New York with Statten Island Ferry

New York with Statten Island Ferry

Vicky Sally and Fay

Vicky Sally and Fay

Harvard

Harvard

Boston From the Ship

Boston From the Ship

Copenhagen

Copenhagen

Star Wars Church in Leharve

Star Wars Church in Leharve

Czech Dinner

Czech Dinner

Danube Weir at Prague

Danube Weir at Prague

Darth Vader

Darth Vader

Prague - Charles Bridge

Prague - Charles Bridge

Schnitzel

Schnitzel

Marzipan Cake

Marzipan Cake

Budapest at Night

Budapest at Night

Where's Fay

Where's Fay

The Cemetry in Frankfurt

The Cemetry in Frankfurt

Famous Irish Explorer

Famous Irish Explorer
Found in Frankfurt

Inspector Rex

Inspector Rex

Costco Trolleys

Costco Trolleys

The Happy Couple

The Happy Couple

The Shuttle Bus

The Shuttle Bus
Bus Ariving with Guests at Reception Venue

A sign on Fishermen's Wharf

A sign on Fishermen's Wharf
Languge Barrier

Bucks Day

Bucks Day
At the BBQ

Comments

We have been told that no one can make coments. I think I've fixed the problem, so someone give it a try

Today's Funnies

2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond

Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong

65.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling

1000 aches: 1 megahurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower

Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line

1 million microphones: 1 megaphone

1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles

2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds

10 cards: 1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton

1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen

1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche

1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin

10 rations: 1 decoration

100 rations: 1 C-ration

2 monograms: 1 diagram

Todays Funny

Todays Funny

Today's Funnies

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.

The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy and said quietly, "Good morning Alex."

"Good morning Pastor," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.

"Pastor McGhee, what is this?" Alex asked. "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the men and women who have died in the service." Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Alex's voice was barely audible when he asked, "Which one, the 9:00 or the 10:30 service?"

Where's Wally

Where's Wally
Another one

Where's Wally

Where's Wally
Wally 1

Flight Deck

Flight Deck
Douglas Skyraider

Today's Funnies

Dr.Seuss explains "Why Computers Sometimes Crash."

If a packet hits a pocket on a port,and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse;then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, ' cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions cause unnecessary risk, then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!

Today's Funny

Today's Funny

Wally The Bear

Wally The Bear
Where's Wally?

Followers

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About Me

FandA2010
View my complete profile

The Funnies Returen

If you have seen these before – bad luck

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Banning the bra was a big flop.
Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumour.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
When you dream in colour, it's a pigment of your imagination.
Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

ZEN THOUGHTS
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Support bacteria. They're the only Culture some people have.
MONDAY is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow
Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
If the early bird catches the worm, what's the worm's incentive to get up early?
-------------------------------------------------------
Reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses:
1. "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"
3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"
4. "Were you alone or by yourself?"
5. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"
6. "Did he kill you?"
7. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
8. "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
9. "How many times have you committed suicide?"
10. Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"A: "Yes."Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"
11. Q: "She had three children, right?"A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"A: "None."Q: "Were there any girls?"
12. Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
13. Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?A: "I went to Europe, sir."Q: "And you took your new wife?"
14. Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"A: "By death."Q: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
15. Q: "Can you describe the individual?"A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male or female?"
16. Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."
17. Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."
18. Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?"A: "Oral."
19. Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m."Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."
20. Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval."
21. Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"A: "I have been since early childhood."
22. Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?" A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
A: "No."Q: "Did you check for breathing?"
A: "No."Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
A: "No."Q: "How can you be so sure, doctor?"
A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
23. Q: What is your date of birth?A: July 15th.Q: What year?A: Every year.
24. Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
25. Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.Q: How long has he lived with you?A: Forty-five years.
26. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan.
27. Q: Where was the location of the accident?A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
28. Q: Sir, what is your IQ?A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
29. Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?A: After the accident?Q: Before the accident.A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.



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